Because everything is more romantic in French.
Romantic gestures. Big, small, surprising, embarrassing, adorable or sexy – these gestures of love keep our relationships alive. They feed, what is often called, ‘the spark’.
Ask anyone about this subject and you usually hear: “no… we’re/he’s/she’s just not that romantic really!” Of course, we could all be overlooking the tiniest of details in our relationships: That morning cup of tea, picking you up when it’s raining. And why are we oblivious to these charming acts of love? Because films, books and television seem to shroud our honest lives with some grand idea that the only way you can keep a relationship going is to hijack a hot air balloon and whisk them off to Barbados, where you’re greeted by Sonny Rollins, who plays a saxophone solo as you have a walk along the beach… or something similar. I suppose we should not be totally cynical about it though, these films are not reality by any means, but I think it keeps the hopeless romantic topped up in all of us. For example, the brilliant scene in ’10 Things I Hate About You’, where Patrick sings to Kat on the school field:
In light of this, my quest was to find real stories that are near enough film worthy. The criteria included: gestures of love, romantic surprises, or getting together against the odds. These are some of the true stories that came through…
“My Nan moved from Italy when she was about 24, with 20 other Italian girls. They worked in a factory or something and lodged with English families. She lived with my Grandad’s family (he was away in the army at the time) and another Italian friend. The Italian friend didn’t get on with the family and eventually she left wanting my Nan to go with her but she didn’t. My Grandad’s mum threw a birthday party for my Nan, and that night my Grandad came home. He asked her out on a date, they fell in love! When their children were about 18 months/2 years old my Nan went to Italy for 3 months to see family. My Grandad had to stay and work but missed them so went out on Christmas day without them knowing and suprised my Nan.”
“My friend Amy’s boyfriend Craig turned up on her doorstep, having spent £70 on a taxi to get to her house, with a new dress and a table for dinner booked (think he definitely got head that night).”
“My Grandma and Grandad got together because my grandma was a librarian at the library by Grandad studied at. They talked regularly, and eventually he asked her if she wanted to go out. She politely declined, but he tried again. After several attempts he waited for her after work one day with a bunch of flowers and after that she agreed and they went on a date!”
“My mum was Sikh and therefore was expected to have an arranged marriage. She got a job and started working in the summer holidays. My dad was a security guard who worked close by (he is English), my mum thought he was nice but had never looked at boys in that way before. My dad kept asking for a date, however she explained that she wasn’t allowed to date. My dad was persistent and in the end they had a secret meeting, my mum’s dad dropped her at work but she got on a train to London and made sure she was back on time for work finishing. My mum and dad only ever had one date and one kiss and on that basis my mum changed everything she had known, they started planning on how and when to escape together. My mum packed a bag and left a note to say she was leaving. Her family found out where she was and after a tough two weeks she felt too guilty and agreed to stay with a family’s friend. It was then she realised it was my dad she wanted to be with, but the only way she could be sure was to leave him to find that out. They arranged to move up North and stay with my dad’s uncle. They came up here with a carrier bag of clothes and made their life together. My mum tried to win her family’s love back, it took around 7 or 8 years but eventually it happened. 25 years on they are still together happily married with two children.”
In terms of performance we were inspired by these beautiful and bold stories. However, these are exceptional cases that really are film worthy. But they are few and far between. It inspired us to really consider the small everyday gestures versus the grand. The cups of tea versus the public singing. Therefore, we are starting to think about how to embed the little details into one or more of the scenes, most likely in some of the more serious aspects to the piece. As a sort of experiment we are also planning a grand romantic gesture. It is in the pipeline and will remain a surprise until the night (and will be largely improvised on my part)! This contrast will hopefully highlight the realities of our relationships and how we crave the grand romantic gesture and are possibly neglectful of the little details. But as I said, this is an experiment!